Welcome to Indy Maven’s Enneagram column coming by way of Jenn Lisak Golding of Uncovered Gems. Check out her website for even more info from the world of Enneagram, or to book a private session.
A common theme has emerged as I continue embarking on my Enneagram coaching journey—especially when speaking with women. The masks we wear and how heavy they feel.
I’ve written about this in the past, and it’s as true for me now as it was then. So much of the time, I feel like I’m wearing a mask for the different situations and scenarios I’m faced with. I filter myself for my professional life, I only show parts of myself with my family, and the only time that I really feel like my mask is off is when I’m at home with my husband or with some of my dearest friends who have never made me feel anything less for who I am.
As I get older, I definitely feel the masks beginning to slip. For one, I’m at a point where I just don’t care as much about what other people think anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still care more than I should, but it’s getting easier as time passes. Regardless, I feel like I’m constantly battling to be who I am versus presenting myself as I want to be.
As I’ve conducted more and more Enneagram typing interviews, there have been so many times when I can tell someone is struggling to give me an honest answer—not because they don’t want to, but because they feel like the honest answer isn’t the best one. For example, if I ask about how they deal with conflict or if they experience a specific emotion, it often feels like they want to give me the “right” answer, not the right one for them.
I’ve shared in the past that learning about the Enneagram and, by extension, what my Enneagram type was was an incredibly emotional and cathartic experience. For the first time, I felt seen and that I was not the only person who experienced life the way I did. We all have points of growth and things about ourselves that we likely want to change. That doesn’t take away from all the good things we bring to the table and the gifts we share with the world daily.
I was reminded of this fact when I attended a celebration of life earlier this year. The person who had passed away had always been authentically themselves, no matter what anyone else thought. Even if you disagreed with them, you couldn’t help but admire the fact that they were always true to themselves and didn’t wear a mask in the world.
By learning about my Enneagram type, I have felt less alone and like I can more gracefully accept myself, flaws and all. My message for you is this: as corny as it is, we are perfectly imperfect—and that’s ok. Accept, grow, and give yourself some grace, Maven. You are so much more than your flaws.
Jenn Lisak Golding is a certified Enneagram coach through The Art of Growth and the face behind Uncovered Gems. She is also the founder and owner of the sister brand Sapphire Strategy, a measured marketing agency. Passionate about emotional intelligence, Jenn helps individuals, teams, and leaders on personal and professional growth journeys.
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