Welcome to Indy Maven’s Mental Health column coming by way of Adair McDonald, LMHC (she/her/hers). Check out her website for information about how Adair works with clients, and to contact her directly to book a session.
Dopamine is the hormone of motivation and reward. We all want more of it, and we seek out little hits of it every chance we get. We carry our phones to the bathroom, wear watches that excite us with notifications, and go down endless Google rabbit holes.
Yet we all know the deal by now—these quick hits don’t lead to long-term joy and fulfillment. None of it is inherently bad in moderation, and most of us have valid reasons for staying connected via technology and social media. But if you’re like me—and many of my clients—you may be finding that these rewards aren’t feeling all that rewarding anymore. In addition to being a time suck, our tech habits can increase stress at moments we’re not prepared to deal with it.
The other day, I had a quick minute between clients. Without consciously choosing to, I checked my phone and saw a headline in my inbox that triggered an unwanted emotional reaction. My heart rate spiked, my face flushed with anger, and I felt a wave of helplessness that made me want to crawl into a hole. Not exactly the energy I want to bring into my work with trauma survivors.
It reminded me to take the same advice I regularly give to clients: protect my nervous system and be intentional about when I consume media. Easier said than done!
Enter the Dopamine Menu. This is a creative little tool that’s been floating around the mental health space for a few years now. While originally designed for folks with ADHD—whose brains tend to produce less dopamine than average—it can be useful for anyone feeling emotionally depleted or overstimulated, especially in response to stressful current events. These stressors can worsen symptoms of depression, anxiety, trauma, and related coping behaviors.
The concept is to create a “dopa-menu” of activities that can boost dopamine (and other feel-good brain chemicals). It mimics a restaurant menu, breaking self-care strategies into categories based on time, effort, and impact.
First up are Appetizers. These are short activities that require minimal time or energy. Think: mini movement breaks or energizing breathing techniques. These are great for a quick reset and almost always bring some immediate benefit.
Next come the Entrees. These are more substantial activities that take time and energy but offer a bigger payoff. Things like coffee with a friend or a walk in the woods offer instant rewards and longer-term support for your nervous system when done consistently.
Side Dishes are those small touches that make a boring or tedious task more enjoyable—like listening to a podcast while folding laundry or doodling during a Zoom meeting. They can make the difference between avoiding a task and actually completing it.
And sometimes we go all out and order the Specials. The dopa-menu equivalent is an activity that takes extra time, planning and/or money. This can include going to a concert or taking a mini vacation. For many of us, the planning and anticipation of these specials is also a dopamine booster.
And of course, there’s Dessert. This is where you’ll find Instagram scrolling or that extra episode of TV before bed. In my opinion, dessert is best when savored, not mindlessly inhaled. In moderation, these can be truly rejuvenating rather than numbing or upsetting.
This is my actual dopamine menu. I’ve filled it with things that work for me. My hope is that it inspires you with ideas. To each one’s own with this sort of thing- when you make your own, be honest about what actually feels good right now. With some experimentation, you might discover even more tools that help.
🍽️ My Dopamine Menu
An intentional way to feed my brain the motivation and feel-good chemicals it needs.
🥟 Appetizers (Quick hits to get me going)
- Get up and stretch
- Take a lap around my office building
- Do the 4-7-8 breathing technique
- Short guided meditation
- 1–2 minutes of vigorous exercise
- 5 senses mindfulness break
🍲 Entrees (More nourishing activities that take time)
- A longer walk or bike ride in the neighborhood
- Visit a park, museum, or any place that inspires me
- Yoga class
- Connect with friends
- Spend meaningful time with family
- Dive into a hobby or passion project
- Bedtime ritual of listening to ambient sounds and reading with my son (This one is meant to help with dopamine the NEXT day—in the meantime, it’s a great way to increase feelings of well-being before bed.)
🍟 Sides (Make boring tasks more bearable)
- Sip tea while working
- Light a candle/adjust the lighting
- Listen to a podcast, audiobook, or music
- Change my setting (coffee shop, porch, co-working space)
- Check in with my body regularly—breathe, release tension
- Wear clothes that make me feel aligned with the task at hand
🍰 Desserts (Treats to enjoy occasionally or in small doses)
- Scroll social media
- Grab a piece of chocolate
- NYT App (games, news, recipes)
- Late-day caffeine
- Online shopping
- TV at night
🌟 Specials (Occasional, planned, or luxurious dopamine boosts)
- Go on a vacation, retreat, or training
- See a play, concert, comedy show, or ballet
- Host or visit out-of-town friends
- Get a massage
- Redecorate a space
How you use this tool may vary, but for me, it helps to print it and keep it somewhere visible so I’m not reliant on a screen for reminders. My side dishes are essential—I don’t know how I’d ever fold laundry without a podcast! Lately, I’ve been more intentional about adding appetizers throughout my day, and the breathing techniques in particular have been so very helpful. Some of my entrees are pre-scheduled, while others serve as reminders to use my free time wisely. Last weekend, that meant a spontaneous museum trip with my family.
Specials require time, money, and planning, so I try to be discerning. I carve out space for both leisure and personal growth to refill my cup throughout the year. When my reserves run low, these experiences help re-engage me in both my work and my relationships.
And while I probably consume a bit more dessert than I “need”, I do feel more intentional since implementing the menu approach and I’ve been remembering to keep my phone out of sight at times so that I have to think before I scroll.
What’s on your dopa-menu? Have fun with this exercise and take time to reflect on what truly fills your cup, rewards you, and boosts your motivation. Your list will be unique to you—and that’s a beautiful thing. We all need and deserve to stay grounded in what matters most, now more than ever. By treating yourself to healthy hits of dopamine on a regular basis, you just might find that life feels a little lighter, easier, and hopeful overall.
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